Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My vagina is officially offended.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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