Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize