So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize