i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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