is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
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I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
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I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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