New invention idea: vibrating tampons
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize