I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize