He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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