Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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