How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he shaved USA in his pubs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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