Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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