i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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