I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize