I wannas sexs uuuuu
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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