She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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