her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize