a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize