I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize