After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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