There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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