how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize