You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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