So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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