You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize