I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize