Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
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