Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize