Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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