I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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