It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize