i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
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I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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