never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize