I can tuck mytits in my pants
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize