i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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