Pappa wants mamma naked
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize