Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize