wat bout pragnant strippers??
Where is the hickey?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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