Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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