Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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