I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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