how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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