nut hugger
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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