Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize