every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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