so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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