I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize