fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize