woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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