My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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