Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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