I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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